Have You Heard This One?

During one of his campaign trips Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school and goes into one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks Mr. Trump if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “Tragedy.” So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and offers: “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.”

“No,” says Mr. Trump, “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raises her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

“I’m afraid not,” explains the exalted businessman. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Mr. Trump searches the room.

“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room, a boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If a private jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaims Mr. Trump, “That’s absolutely right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

(Copied from Quora)
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Image by Artsss from Pixabay

Would YOU Scream?


From an NPR article:

The Fuji-Q Highland amusement park near Tokyo has an unorthodox request for its roller coaster riders.

“Please scream inside your heart,” and not out loud, the park is asking. The unusual ask is meant to reduce the risk of spreading the coronavirus.

While some may be skeptical that it’s possible to quietly ride a roller coaster, a promotional video from Fuji-Q proves that it can be done.

The video shows two stone-faced, suit-wearing, and completely silent executives ride the Fujiyama roller coaster, the park’s main attraction.

 

Now tell me what’s wrong with this video (besides the mask) …

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Image by Paul Brennan from Pixabay

Fly In My Tea

I came across the following on Quora and couldn’t resist sharing. It’s entitled:

Bush, Obama, and Trump each find a fly in their cups of tea. What do they do?

Bush: Excuse me ma’am, there seems to be a fly in my tea. Now while I’m guessing it’s great tea, I will not be able to enjoy it as there is a fly in it. I would be much obliged if you would remove it.

Obama: Uh, hello, young sir. I don’t mean to bother you, but there (haha) there seems to be a fly in my tea. Now it’s not your fault, hundreds of Americans work hard day in day out at jobs like this, as a matter of fact, I think it’s people like you who are the backbone of America, you keep us going. But I hope you don’t mind that I ask for another cup. God bless you and God bless the waiters of America.

Trump: Look Melania, there’s a fly in my tea, can you believe that?

Melania?

Melania!!

*calls press conference *

“ Today, there was a fly in my tea. Obviously this is another ploy by the Democrats to try and sabotage my regime and its attempt to make America great again. My table was also probably bugged by the FBI hoping I’d slip up and they’d have another excuse to restart their witch hunt.

I heard Bush and Obama also had flies in their tea. Obviously their flies weren’t as big as mine, my fly was obviously the biggest fly. They obviously saved the best fly for me.

So you know what? we’re gonna build a wall around that establishment and we’re gonna make the owner pay for it, so no one has to drink their horrible tea or see their horrible shop ever again.

And you know what else? I might start producing tea as well, the biggest tea company in the America, it’s gonna be hyuuuuge, the best tea ever, we’re gonna have the best hot water, and tea leaves from China, of course. It’ll be great, it’ll be like nothing you’ve ever seen. Thank you all for coming”

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Image by congerdesign from Pixabay