And, we must admire his class at being a devoted father and husband. He must really, really care, since he has done it 3 times. And he is clearly enamored of Melania; their public touching and knowing glances is but a glimpse at a true fairy-tale romance.
And what about his education (starting with his stellar Military Academy years- how better to mold a future leader)? And, of course, his lawyer threatened Wharton and other schools because (as Trump has said himself) he is so humble it would be totally embarrassing to find out what a genius he is. Classy people don’t boast about their education!
The same can be said of his vast wealth. Having to divulge his tax returns would show he has so much of the bestest money, he wouldn’t be relatable anymore. Classy people don’t brag about how rich they are!
He’s so virile! His doctors say so. You know, they made up the bone spur thing because Trump would have fought his way to the front lines and created such a brave, inspiring figure that the Viet Cong (or King Kong, I forget, maybe both- jungles, y’know) would have fled in terror and maybe committed suicide en masse and then we wouldn’t have any good war movies. It was safer to keep him stateside, where we can all benefit from his valour and perfect smartness as #45. Good call, doc!
I applaud him for using golf as a way to get the real work done. What a gentleman’s sport. Everybody knows real deals are brokered on the golf course, so everyone complaining about that can just shut up. And, he’s using his own courses so he won’t inconvenience those of the military. How magnanimous and classy!
And his appointments and staff… so sad. Being the GENIUS Trump is, no one can possibly keep up with his razor-sharp intellect! Oh, Kushner and Trump kids can, cuz they’ve been around him, that’s why they are so qualified. They have personally been taught Trump’s secret “art of the deal”, so it’s understandable that no one else has his level of expertise about EVERYTHING. Literally everything, since he explained he has “a big brain” and “good genes”. And, it is physically impossible to get a Press Secretary that truly understands those best words Trump uses; it’s not his fault there aren’t any smart press secretaries. Now we have Ms. Mac a Ninny. This one is going to work out (see the cross she wears? Obviously she must be devout so when she says “I’m not lying” she’s telling the truth. Wait a minute…).
His devotion to God is admirable, too. While his predecessors were seen going to church, Trump has his own personal shrine in the White House bunker. He does not want to be seen making a display of his religiosity, unlike past Presidents who mocked God by being seen attending services! Totally classy!
What he has done that makes my heart leap is his great eloquent speeches. They unite left and right, rich and poor, and people of all races. If you haven’t been inspired, it’s because his big brain’s best words are too perfect and you just don’t understand. I mean, with such a sophisticated sense of humor, wry wit, coupled with his extraordinary gift for insightful analyses of complex subjects, how are we, the great unwashed, supposed to keep up? It’s we who lack class.
And Twitter! What a clever way to make sure your words of wisdom reach the masses. Did you know that once Bibles were written in Latin? Some dude had the great idea to translate it so anyone who was literate could read the Bible for themselves. “Trump the Great” knows this. It’s takin’ it to the people! We are indeed fortunate that a man of such high class will communicate to we knuckle-draggers with a technology we can understand. Derp-de-derp.
And only the highest of high-class people would spend time with foreign leaders like Putin and Kim Jong-un! Don’t people realize he is explaining to them the intricacies of modern Democracy and a Capitalist society? The reason those fuddy-duddy Europeans are mean is they think they know it all. Know-it-alls!
I almost forgot the foolish “environmental” thing. Rush Limbaugh said it best that “the planet will be just fine.” Right? Give that man a Prezidential Medal of Freedumb! Once all the people are dead, the environment will be clean again! You environmentalists are so short sighted. Sheesh.