From Atheist to Believer

atheist-agnostic-religiousJust read an article entitled, “Your atheism isn’t going to keep your kids from believing in God.”

I was not raised an atheist. It was more that religion simply wasn’t that big a deal. My father was a lapsed Catholic, my mother was essentially a non-believer. As a young child, I was “taken” to church (Catholic due to my father’s Basque, very religious, family) and later I was enrolled in catechism classes (which I left … another story, another time).

As I grew older (12? 13?), for reasons I don’t recall, I purchased a red-letter edition bible. I was in a stationery store (where I used to love to hang out) and saw this bible with a white leather-like cover and gold lettering, “Holy Bible.”  I thought it was so pretty … which, now that I think about it, was most likely my motivation for buying it. Once I got home I placed it on my headboard in a conspicuous location (remember, I thought it was pretty).

On occasion, I do remember taking it down from its exalted spot and thumbing through the pages. Of course the red letters grabbed my attention but mostly I stopped at Psalms to read a few lines … because they made me “feel good.”

At this point in my life, I think I had a vague feeling there was a god but that’s about as far as it went. It wasn’t until many years later, after I was married, that circumstances in my life turned me towards (big-G) God (also a story for another time).

Anyway, the above-mentioned article intrigued me since it reminded me of my own situation. In one place, it asked: “Do kids raised without religion actively seek it out and convert all that often?” The answer surprised me. A 2008 Pew survey indicated only 46 percent of those raised in religiously unaffiliated families (which includes atheists, agnostics, and those who say they’re “nothing in particular”) remain unaffiliated as adults. Another study using the same data found that only 30 percent of people explicitly raised as atheists (excluding other unaffiliateds) remain so as adults. An updated study (2012) raised the unaffiliated rate to 53 percent. The article does state these measurements are not perfect, but they do indicate somewhat of a trend towards religion vs. irreligion.

I have my own thoughts on why this happens, but would be interested in hearing the opinions of others. Especially those who are in or have experienced this in their own families.

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56 thoughts on “From Atheist to Believer

  1. I’m pretty sure the data was based on U.S. statistics but you might want to check the article to confirm.

    You’re totally correct that peer pressure plays a big role.

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  2. I think it’s more realistic to say, “Your theism isn’t going to keep your kids believing in God.” Church attendance is down all over the world, this is one of the reasons for the big push, in the US, to get religion into the schools.

    “If we are going to teach “creation science” as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction.”
    — Judith Hayes —

    .

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I think another thing that plays into this is the number of irreligious, not necessarily die-hard-atheist, parents who allow their children to attend church with another family member – like a grandparent.

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  4. Thanks for sharing this article.

    somewhat of a trend towards religion vs. irreligion.

    I don’t think that’s quite right overall, in light of the net growth of the unaffiliated, and the net decline of the religious, as shown in the last figure, “Childhood Versus Current Affiliation of U.S. Adults”.

    However, I’m also surprised at the percentage of people who’ve moved from unaffiliated to religious (or affiliated, at least), and I wonder why they have done so.

    Side note: I think “The Americans” is a compelling show. I’m interested to see where they go with the Paige character and the religious subplot (among other plotlines).

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  5. True enough, ratamacue0. As the article states (related to the chart you referenced), ” … secularism is gaining a lot of ground, with agnosticism growing more than eightfold, and atheism tripling.”

    Overall, however, I think the writer was trying to illustrate the fact that atheistic values in the family unit are not necessarily carried over into adulthood. Do you have any comments on why you think that happens?

    I totally agree about “The Americans.” One of my favorite shows. It will definitely be interesting to see how it all plays out. I also regularly watch “The Good Wife” with its similar subplot and felt a twinge of concern in a recent episode because it felt like Alicia was almost “sympathetic” to Grace’s new religious leanings. :cringe:

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    • “Alicia” has made it clear from the beginning, that she is a staunch atheist, Nan – however now that she is running for Attorney General, next week’s episode should be good, in that she is interviewed by a Baptist minister, and questioned about her religious affiliations. Should be interesting to see how she worms her way out of that one.

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    • Overall, however, I think the writer was trying to illustrate the fact that atheistic values in the family unit are not necessarily carried over into adulthood. Do you have any comments on why you think that happens?

      Agreed.

      In light of my own research and conclusions, I suspect that the converts are not generally skeptics–but I am speculating.

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  6. Greetings! US statistics and trends are meaningless to me, but the article does appeal to my situation. My parents came from traditionally Prostestant families. They very rarely went to church, but deemed religion important enough to send me to Sunday school. Being a patient, compliant boy, I learned all that biblical stuff. But by the time I was 14 or 15, I felt free to say aloud that all those stories are pure nonsense, in the strict meaning of that word, they make No Sense. Starting with the Creation, followed by Noah’s Arc, the Israeli Exodus crossing the Red Sea, among many others. Come on! And in the middle of all that, I am considered a sinner because of some unique apple tree,and a snake, five thousand years ago.
    My wife is Catholic, and. I did not object at all to that religion being taught to my children. I was sure that, in time, they would listen to my way of reasoning and, perhaps stop to believe. This did not happen, and only several years later, I became aware of. the thorough brainwashing practises of the RC Church – contrary to most Protestant and other Churches. – My son and two daughters (57, 54, 51 now), as well as many other relatives and friends, keep praying for my conversion……
    I wonder if anyone agrees with my theory that belief and unbelief are a personal issue, a matter of neurons being able (willing?) to send signals to other neurons and form different circuits. Unbelief, seems to me , is the image of a parachute (was it Einstein who said that parachutes are like minds: they work best when open?)
    Many – perhaps most – unbelievers are not those just lacking belief, “unwilling to seek God”, but those willing to interrogate, to question the so-called truths…..
    Federico

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi Federico! Glad to “hear” from you again. 🙂

      You are in an unfortunate position, but one that is shared by many others. And it works both ways. I remember when I was married to my first husband, there was a period of time when we were both Christians. However, due to hurt feelings, he ended up leaving the church while I remained. And yes, as your family does, I prayed for his return to the faith. He never did.

      In his case, I don’t think he ever actually stopped believing in God; he just didn’t want anything to do with Christianity. After we divorced, I was in and out of church for several years (another one of those stories that I may share at some point), but eventually left completely.

      Perhaps your mistake was in allowing your children to attend religious training. However, things are often easier said than done. It probably would have caused considerable dissension between you and your wife had you insisted that they find their own path.

      As to your question about belief and unbelief, I hope one of my followers will pop-in to answer your question (Victoria?). She is very much into the cognitive content of the religious mindset.

      And I totally agree with your last statement — it is those who are willing to question that generally leave the faith, because once you begin that questioning process, the results are pretty much written in stone.

      Thanks again for stopping by!

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  7. Life is hard and confusing. No single worldview has all the answers. So people become dissatisfied and change. That can be in any direction. It depends what they found lacking.

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    • Charles,

      Having read your blog, I think I understand where you’re coming from; however, I must disagree (at least in principle) about life being hard and confusing. It can be, yes, but in my personal experiences, I’ve found peace and a fair amount of contentment. However, it’s true. When you’re seeking answers, the road is often very bumpy. More than once, you find yourself taking wrong turns and then having to backtrack.

      I do agree that dissatisfaction is usually the impetus for change. Perhaps these children from atheist families found something was missing in their lives … and religion provided the answer. I find this somewhat sad in that “religion” actually has no substance in and of itself. But each of us has to take the road that looks the most appealing at any given time.

      Thanks for visiting my blog. Don’t be a stranger.

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      • I was enrolled in catechism classes (which I left … another story, another time).

        It wasn’t until many years later, after I was married, that circumstances in my life turned me towards (big-G) God (also a story for another time).

        After we divorced, I was in and out of church for several years (another one of those stories that I may share at some point), but eventually left completely.

        So many stories untold. I’m intrigued!

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  8. Hi Nan,

    Thanks for the reply. I was trying to express an idea I’ve been mulling over, and I’m not sure I can put it into words completely yet, or if my idea is correct. I’ve been thinking about how many people convert… and in many different directions (between religions, from theism to atheism, from atheism to theism). To me, what I observe is consistent with atheism, in that if there is no God, yet seeking answers has survival advantage, then many people will question what they grew up with, no matter what it was. If an atheist grew up atheist, they might at some point be willing to give religion a try. They might find fulfillment in it, or get trapped, and never de-convert.

    It would be really interesting to do a study with a random sample and ask each person about their religious timeline, and then figure out what sorts of conversions people go through, at what ages, timing in relation to other life events, etc. It would be fascinating.

    I would describe the data in terms of a Markov Chain, where the probability of being in a state depends on the two previous states. My hypothesis would be that atheism is an absorbing state, but only if it follows a period of time spend as a theist. That is, atheists may convert to religion, but once someone has tried religion and de-converted, they don’t often go back. And, religion is not an absorbing state. A former atheist who converts may go back to atheism.

    Or, it could depend on some combination of age, life events, and education. People may change states more often in young adulthood and during the so-called “mid-life” crisis, or after a stressful life event (death of loved one, divorce, moving to a new country, etc.). It would be a very interesting study.

    “Don’t be a stranger.”
    Thx!

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  9. 1. Hello ex-Stranger Charles 🙂
    …..If an atheist grew up atheist, they might at some point be willing to give religion a try. They might find fulfillment in it, or get trapped, and never de-convert…..
    Would an unbeliever – not accustomed to obey rules imposed by others – be satisfied with an abstract deity who DEMANDS to be loved and even worshipped? Of course, it is possible, but I find it hard to imagine.
    However, it might be interesting to know the results of a study, such as you suggest. If by any chance you want me to contribute, please let me know. I could the provide you with my (short) “religious timeline” .
    2. Nan:
    ….. Perhaps your mistake was in allowing your children to attend religious training…..
    Of course it was a mistake, but I made it willingly because we wanted to marry whatever the cost, so I had to make that promise, otherwise her parents would not give their consent.
    Always nice to receive a friendly reaction to one’s writings. Looking forward to comments from Victoria – and/or someone else.
    The same goes for your untold stories.
    All the best.

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  10. Hi koppieop!

    “Would an unbeliever – not accustomed to obey rules imposed by others – be satisfied with an abstract deity who DEMANDS to be loved and even worshipped? Of course, it is possible, but I find it hard to imagine.”
    When evangelizing, what is often presented are all the benefits (joy, happiness, peace, forgiveness). It’s only once you are “in” that all the rules get brought out.
    If they understood that is what they were getting into, they might not. But there all kinds of situations I can imagine whereby an atheist could feel a lack in their life, start to wonder if maybe all those Christians really are right, then run into Christians who show love to them (genuinely, even), and be attracted to the good parts.
    Whether they would be attracted or not depends on how much they had thought through atheism vs. theism before, and how familiar they were with Christian theology. Once in, and entangled and committed, its harder to get out, even when they find out about the bad parts.
    This is all hypothetical… Actual research would uncover if such people actually exist. Christians certainly think such people exist, and many Christian’s testimony includes a period of at least doubting God’s existence (or actual disbelief) followed by “seeing the light.”

    What I’d really be interested to see is if there are people who were heavily involved in Christianity, the de-converted, and then converted back. Having been through the first 2 of those 3 steps, I find it hard to believe that would happen, but it would be interesting to see if there are such people and what their reasons were.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Charles, you are “right-on” …

      Once in, and entangled and committed, its harder to get out, even when they find out about the bad parts.

      And if anyone doubts this is true, they need to read some of the articles on ex-christian.net, as well as numerous other websites and blogs written by ex-christians. The pain and agony that many go through to rid themselves of the brainwashing and indoctrination by “the church” is palpable.

      As to your interest in the Christian–>non-Christian–>Christian, there is a visitor on Nate’s blog that apparently has taken this path. He can be found here. I suggest you read his posting, “Letter to Atheists.”

      Liked by 2 people

  11. @koppieop

    Hi Federico,

    I wonder if anyone agrees with my theory that belief and unbelief are a personal issue, a matter of neurons being able (willing?) to send signals to other neurons and form different circuits.

    I agree with your idea here. It seems that variation in brain structure and function can make certain individuals prone to unbelief. Psychologists classify these kinds of unbelievers as “mindblind” atheists, meaning they seem to physically lack whatever is necessary for belief. There are some people out there who really do want to believe but simply cannot bring themselves to it. On a related note, there are people who self-identify as Christians who say they struggle with doubt.

    There are probably modes of thinking which counteract the strength of the belief. For example, after I sit at work doing science all day sometimes I find it difficult to think about theology. It feels good to have everything structured and understood, but God is not something we can make scientific statements about or capture in a vial for study. God is like a presence that infuses more meaning into life. The author of the Gospel of John describes the human experience of God as this: God is spirit. What does that mean? That God is invisible? Well, yes, but not just invisible. The Greek word for spirit is pneuma and it also meant wind. Wind is invisible but it pushes us and this is analogous to our experience of God. We don’t know what compels us to believe, something deep in our minds, but we do know that it is there and we trust it.

    One last thing. I should note that Christian theology is perfectly consistent with your idea, because faith is a gift. That’s not to say that you were not given this gift because you were overlooked. Our lives are dynamic, so it’s possible that in the future you will be called and given this gift. Maybe not though. Maybe God is OK with your unbelief and just wants you to live a good life, conscientious of the world’s many problems.

    -Brandon

    Liked by 1 person

    • We don’t know what compels us to believe, something deep in our minds, but we do know that it is there and we trust it.

      US, Brandon? Shouldn’t you speak for yourself?

      Wind is invisible but it pushes us and this is analogous to our experience of God.

      You make these statements as if they were fact, Brandon – are you really that far over the edge?

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      • Sorry Arch, I meant “us” to imply believers, or more specifically, believers who don’t have a concrete outside reasoning as the basis of their faith. That second qualification is important because apologists can say that they believe because of arguments.

        And being compelled is a real phenomenon, it is a fact in that sense. Whether it is ultimately due to God’s work or not is up for debate of course.

        I get your criticism though. I should be careful about how I word things to separate my worldview from our common denominators.

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        • And being compelled is a real phenomenon” – absolutely, but they have treatments for OCD – or “CDO,” for those who feel a compulsion to line up the letters alphabetically – and the last time I checked the manual, a dose of church was not among them.

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  12. Thought I would share my take on why I think kids raised without religion seek it out later in life.

    From what I’ve gathered from personal testimonies, atheistic parents generally don’t try to influence their children one way or the other. Instead, they tend to encourage them to seek out their own pathway in life. Considering the results of the referenced studies, this could be a mistake (at least from the non-believing parents’ viewpoint) because the children end up doing just as they’ve been taught; that is, they discover Christianity offers them something they want or need.

    Of course, it’s all speculation. Every individual is different and who knows what really influences someone to believe (or not believe) in God. Sometimes, as in my case, it came about through a discussion with some friends. For others, it may be a death in the family. Or a person is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Yet another sees Christ as a way to break free from a life of drugs. Every person has their own reasons.

    By the same token, every one who leaves the faith also does so for their own reasons — and it is not for anyone to make assumptions or judgments about what those reasons are.

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  13. Brandon:
    …..unbelievers are “mindblind” atheists who seem to lack whatever is necessary for belief. – People want to believe but cannot bring themselves to it…..
    As a child, I was a Christian, but only passively because of my birth. What would I have learned if I had been born in a Muslim family? When I discovered that my mind was able to function on its own, I began to doubt, and very soon I realized the futility of praying, in fact of all other religious notions. That was an effort, a conscious, and certainly not a mindblind, process.
    Also, I never felt compelled to believe in something. It is true that I don’t WANT to believe. I lack the gift of faith, but I don’t need it. I know this is an arrogance in Christian ears, but as I don’t worship some supernatural power (what is supernatural?), I am alone with myself – which I enjoy. I reject unconditional faith in a Bible full of inconsistent stories, endless rituals, instructions to sacrifice and to kill entire populations, boring genealogies, warfare. And all this, dominated by an invisible, highly improbably anthropomorphic, willful God, merciful and at the same time threatening with hell and damnation. So, I don’t think such a God would want me to live a good life.
    If I would ever believe in a God, it would definitely not be the Jewish/Christian/Muslim God, perhaps more like the one you described, ….a presence giving meaning into life…… But I have learned that the only one who gives meaning to one’s life, is oneself. In my experience, it has turned out to be impossible to give meaning to other people’s lives.
    I pity those who believe in prayers and other rituals, in an afterlife, because I find the ideas so poor, limited, provincial, dependent. I used to like the expression “the sky is the limit”, until I learned the eye-opening, much more accurate, formulation that the sky is NOT the limit (Neil DeGrasse Tyson).
    Your comment was worth the time it cost me to write this somewhat belated reaction, hopefully I have avoided misunderstandings.
    Be someone’s sunhine today – a wish I recently read in a blog that I will be visiting later on.
    Take care,
    Federico

    Liked by 3 people

  14. @Nan
    …..Thought I would share my take on why I think kids raised without religion seek it out later in life….

    Will there be any statistical data? I can only guess my own case.
    I was brought up with (Christian) beliefs, but practically never accepted them, not even after explanations – which are unavoidably biased, and thus infantile.
    The movies and operas of the Seven Dwarfs and Snow White, Cinderella’ shoe at five minutes to midnight, Hansel and Gretl, are entertaining, but I never liked the fairy tales themselves. Consequently, I have not – yet? – taken the time to read Harry Potter, and the Lord of Rings).
    So, knowing this mindset, I think that – all else being equal- I would follow the same path as I actually have. The circuits formed by the chemical elements of the star I came from, would prevent me from believing inconsistent stories anyway….

    Liked by 1 person

  15. The natural, unexplained indeed. May I add: not yet?
    If I had lived in the Viking Age, I would probably not ignore Thor, the god who was supposed to protect us from storms, and I would join everybody in prayers.
    By the way, thunder is one of my favorite sounds, but we are more than a thousand years further, and lightning was explained to me…..

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  16. @koppieop:

    Federico,
    Your view does sound arrogant, but hopefully to your surprise, not because I have a different view. It’s because all modernist views sound arrogant with their militating knowledge. This includes those stubborn apologists out there. Modernists think there is some external rational framework that you have gotten hold of, mastered, and figured everything out. From this, one must conclude that anyone who has not reached your level of mastery are deficient somehow – rationally, morally, psychologically weak, etc. But, I don’t think it’s because you are actually arrogant, rather it stems from your deeper worldview of modernism. You actually have to conclude that someone like me is deficient, and that I must admit is disappointing.

    Also, hopefully you didn’t think I was implying that all atheists are mindblind. It seems you do not fit this category at all. You better fit the analytical atheist category.

    I’m going to go be someone’s sunshine now! 🙂 And, I hope you will consider broadening your philosophical perspective, not just so you are not mistaken as arrogant by your family who loves you, but because broadening one’s perspective is a good end in itself. And, if that sounds arrogant, then you have already taken your first step towards postmodernism.
    -Brandon

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  17. No disappointment Brandon; I don’t think in terms of superior or inferior knowledge. It just annoys me that believers find it arrogant when someone says that he can be a good person without God. The evidence is there, before their eyes! My (and those of many other persons who my family and friends know), morals are considered good, we are aware of religion and yet we don’t go to church, we don’t pray and we have read the Bible. Not from cover to cover, but without cherrypicking chapters toour convenience. – And even with that evidence, they insist on our lack of guidance and faith, but that one day we will receive the gift.
    I’ll try to expand my notion of philosophy, good suggestion.
    Have a good week-end!
    Federico

    Liked by 1 person

  18. 6 pm

    Hi everybody! My son, who is 11, just asked me what I thought about a video called The Thaw. I said, “It is sad.” It features teenage Christians making statements about how they are tired of Christianity being frozen out of public schools in the U.S. He said, “Ok, but what do you think about the points they made? There are churches everywhere. How is it not a Christian nation?” I briefly explained the difference between a democratic and theocratic government, and the provision for separation of church and state in our Constitution. I told him that just because many people believe in a certain religion, that doesn’t mean they get to base the government, at least overtly, on it.

    This was all a little heavy, given that I am going on little sleep. He is an atheist, and I have made it a point to empower him to think critically and not default to atheism because his parents are non-believers. I wish I could say the same for Christian parents. There must be some out there who try to not indoctrinate their kids, but I am sure they are in the minority.

    I told my son that those kids believe what they have been told, but they don’t have all the information. He said, “Aren’t atheists indoctrinated too?” I know some Christians see it that way. In spite of what Kathy said, truth is relative. Without the solid, grounding presence of science and reason, what would separate us atheists from the other brainwashed folks out there? I know science does not prove or disprove the existence of a deity, but it does provide a stark contrast to nonsensical stories in religious texts. When Christians have tried to convert me, I might have crossed the line into folly were it not for common sense anchoring me to reality. Those rocks in my back yard? I bet they’re over 6000 years old, not because I’ve had them tested, but because I understand the basics of geology and dating methods.

    I am so grateful for other atheists speaking out and speaking up, and for access to scientific information. Even when we know better, it is difficult to resist the pressure Christians put on us. I am grateful that I have answers for my son. Without other atheists, and sites like this one, I would not have the wisdom to know I have to teach him how to figure it out for himself. That does not seem like indoctrination to me.

    Liked by 4 people

    • There must be some out there who try to not indoctrinate their kids” – likely not, as if they are true believers, they honestly believe they are saving their children from hell, never questioning what kind of loving god would create a place like hell in the first place.

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  19. …..Without [the solid, grounding presence of] science and reason, what would separate us atheists from the other brainwashed folks out there?… (Brackets are mine).

    Well said, gliese! Man’s capacity to reason increased, so he could develop science. Without science, atheism couldn’t have existed, it came into existence precisely because the evidence being presented almost automatically converted the biblical stories and prophecies into fairy tales. At least that is what happened to my mindset, why not to those more other people? How is it possible to think otherwise? If miracles existed, one of them would be the fact that since several hundreds of years so many theists REMAIN brainwashed. In many cases, willingly. Cognitive dissonance, I think it was Ruth who recently introduced this interesting concept to me.

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  20. The circuits formed by the chemical elements of the star I came from …

    Frederico, I LOVE that! If you took a close look at my avatar, you know that’s exactly what I believe. I think it was Carl Sagan who introduced me to this concept. It is so much more fulfilling than believing we came from an invisible sky-daddy.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. That association with stars got hold of me since I heard it during a lecture (on video, wish I could be among the audience!) of Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Being a good pupil, he may well have mentioned Carl Sagan as the author. To tell you the truth, I used the image on purpose, knowing that you would like it…..

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  22. The thought that we are made of star stuff is so humbling to me. I don’t need a god. On the scale of cosmic time and space, gods are meaningless. What is meaningful is this instant, in which matter has become aware of itself. The night sky is more profound it its silence than any sermon or proselytizing I’ve ever heard. Thank you for reminding me!

    Liked by 4 people

  23. @gliese 2475 and nan, re your posts dated october 27 last on “star stuff”. This morning I stumbled upon this lecture by Dr. DeGrasse Tyson. You probably know it but I felt an urge to send you the link, in case you would also like to listen (again) to this excellent educator. Greetings, and have a nice week-end.
    Federico

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Really interesting statistics, even if they are culturally specific. I think some of the answer at least lies in the fact that theism is natural for humans. It obviously satisfies some deep-seated need for security and answers, given that something similar has developed in most societies around the world, and so many religions continue to flourish. Atheism is a lot more effort, and definitely less satisfying if it’s not meticulously worked through.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Of course you’re correct, violet. The number of religious people around the world definitely confirms your observation. However (and I speak for myself), I don’t find being a non-believer (not quite a full-blown “atheist”) more effort OR less satisfying. Perhaps it’s because, as you suggested, I have “worked through” all the stuff that goes with deconversion. In any case, not having to constantly deal with guilt and fear has given me a level of contentment that I never experienced as a Christian.

      Thank you for stopping by and offering your thoughts. Hope to “see” you more regularly. 🙂

      Like

    • I think some of the answer at least lies in the fact that theism is natural for humans. It obviously satisfies some deep-seated need for security and answers

      OR,

      At least within the male-god religions, it’s a search for the most powerful alpha male, even if we have to make one up.

      Like

  25. “I’m going to go be someone’s sunshine now!” – he doesn’t seem to realize that he can brighten a room just by leaving it.

    Without doubt, one of the most inciteful ‘Brandon’ comments ever made.

    Like

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